What the Hell is a 'Moleed?'

A funny comedy routine that comes from Charles Fleischer (you may know him better as the voice of Roger Rabbit).  I heard him perform it on Johnny Carson and thought it was screamingly funny.  I did a web search for 'Moleeds' and found his site.  Which I then pilfered for this routine, which I now present here without any permission whatsoever.  Even though you don't get the benefit of the various voices and body postures and stuff, it still is amusing.  But not AS amusing.  Enjoy.  Remember: From here down is a direct copy (except I changed the font) of Charles Fleischer's page.

Moleeds is the mathematical formula that I discovered. It reveals the blueprint of infinity. It can be used as a spiritual and mental discipline to tune yourself to the frequencies of the universe (if it sounds heavy, thatís because it is). The last time I performed this on television was on the Tonight Show, when Johnny Carson was still the host. I will continue to present more information for those of you who are interested. What follows is the routine that I performed on the Tonight Show and in clubs during the early 80ís.

 

I like numbers.

Through numbers I have discovered the mathematical structure of the universe which I call MOLEEDS.

All things are moleeds, from galaxies to fairlanes, from quasars to trinitrons, from molecules to atoms to eves...

From Protons to neutrons to croutons.

All things are Moleeds.

Moleeds are based on the numbers 27 and 37.

Because one divided by 27 equals point 037...

Conversely one divided by 37 equals point 027...

It is on this reciprocal relationship between the numbers 27 and 37 that all things in the universe and therefore Moleeds are based.

"What the hell was he talking about?"

"I don't know."

"It sounds like he said Moleeds to me."

"Sounds like a lot of monkey womp to me."

37 is the key to understanding the secret of the Moleeds.

37.

Shakespeare wrote 37 plays.

There are 37 openings in the speaker part of the telephone.

The normal temperature of the human body is 98.6.

In centigrade: 37 degrees.

Wayne Newton works 37 weeks out of the year.

You're starting to see it now!

Moleeds.

Numbers are the key to understanding moleeds.

1. One is the loneliest number.
Now there are other lonely numbers, like 976-KISS ME.
974-WHIP ME!
975-I'M SO LONELY!

2. Two eyes two ears two arms two hands (indicating breasts) you know the rest

3. Three is the trinity.
The father and the son and the holy moleed.
We live in 3 dimensions.
There were three kings, three wise men, the three pigs, the 3 Stooges!
Curly, Larry and Moleed.

4. For four seasons.
Our forefathers used their foresight to search the four corners for four leaf clovers. They couldn't find any said some four letter words. Returned forlorn on all fours. Used their forehands and foreheads and forearms to formulate foreplay. Which is fortunate for us.

5. The ancient word for hand is five just like digit still means number as well as finger and five the hand relates back to one (a gripping hand moves up and down in a stroking motion)

6. Life on earth is based on carbon.
Carbon is the 6th element.
Bee hives are always six sided.
Snowflakes are always six sided.
Budweisers are always in six packs.
You figure it out.

7. 7 is the most frequently mentioned number in all of our planet's spiritual as well as historical documents.
There are seven openings in the head.
Seven days in the week.
Seven notes in the musical scale.
Seven chakras in our body.
If you avoid the seven deadly sins, you can get to seventh heaven.
If you use your seven pillars of wisdom, you can see the seven wonders of the world.
Across the seven seas to the seven hills of Rome in a house of seven gables where seven brides and seven brothers watch the seven voyages of Sinbad on Channel 7 for the seventh time.
Standing for a seventh inning stretch to scratch a seven year itch when 007 comes in to remind you that God rested on the 7th day, went to a 7-11, had a 7-UP with the 7 dwarves.

Moleeds.

Life on this planet is based on DNA.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid
Which is basically four chemicals, the four nucleotides.
Cytosine, guanine, thymine and adenine.
These four chemicals code out in groups of three to make the various amino acids to that link together to make the various protein chains that make life on earth possible.
Four chemicals arranged in groups of three means there are 64 numerical possibilities for generating all the lifeon earth.
Moleeds are based on the numbers 27 and 37.
27 + 37 = 64, the number of chemical codes for creating life on earth.
Coincidence?
Ha ha ha. You decide.

Let's examine other cultures for evidence of Moleeds.
The I Ching, the oriental mysticism, is based on 64 hexagrams. The Hebrew words for Adam and Eve, when translated into numbers, because every Hebrew letter has a numerical value equals 64.
Adam is 45, Eve is 19.
There are 64 squares on a chess and checkerboard.
The Beatles wrote: "When I'm 64"
Don't you see??

They laughed at Copernicus.
They laughed at Galileo.
They laughed at Darwin.
And right now, I'm not doing that well.